My Dream Job

As we close our doors on the 2016-2017 school year, I just want to raise a toast to the amazing people I work with, the incredible support I receive, and most of all, the inspiring kiddos that make this my dream job.

First Day of School, 2016

I have so much love for my students, my kids, my school family. We had our ups and downs this year, but not nearly as many downs than ups! I spent a good majority of each day wondering aloud how I was given such an awesome, self-sufficient, hard-working class. And they were kind too! It's like I won the classroom lottery!

One student donated all of his savings to help buy presents for other students. One student FILLED the donation box!

By April, my students could run the classroom without me (allowing me to walk around a give 1:1 attention as needed!). I could interject with amusing stories (well, amusing to me) and reinforce the ideas they were learning. My favorite part about teaching lessons, is when it all clicks and you get an A-HA! moment from one of the kids (or sometimes the adults.)

I laughed so hard everyday at the things these guys would say and do. Some of them had no idea what it felt like to be safe in a classroom where no one would judge them, no one would scold them, no one would punish them for things they couldn't control. (Don't worry, they still had consequences for all those problematic middle school behavior choices!)

What's this? Just a fossilized PB&J we found behind the filing box.
One student walked up and said, "Oh, that's where that went."

When the selective mute becomes the class clown, you know you're doing something right.

When you are able to look at a kid's face as he's angrily spitting hateful words at you, and look past it to not only understand him, but love him more, you know you're doing something that matters.

When the the 6th grader who was in the principal's office everyday, is creating speeches and extra lessons in her FREE TIME as an 8th grader, you know you've found a good home.

To the ones who are moving up to high school: I wish you the best. I hope we have taught you the skills you need to be a successful human being. I hope you always feel supported and know you've got a bunch of crazy ladies cheering you on.

To the ones coming back to us next year: We got a glimpse of how incredible you really are. I am so proud of the progress we've made and I know you're going to continue to amaze me next year.

And most importantly, to the ones who we haven't met yet; the ones that are struggling, the ones that are angry, the ones that feel unwanted and out of place: We are here for you. We will open our classrooms, and our hearts, to you with welcome arms. You're already loved, even if you don't know it yet.

An Open Letter to My Dad

Ok Dad, we both know this is going to make you cry, so go ahead and grab some tissues before you continue...

Got 'em?

Dad/Chuckie/Chuckles,

I have spent years trying to piece together a letter to you, but when it comes down to it, I just want to pick up a ball and our gloves and head outside. It was a staple of my childhood.

Actually, you are the staple of my childhood. From countless field trips to Thursday lunches (that chili and cinnamon roll was ridiculously good, right??). Hours on the couch watching the Mariners, and several more freezing our toes off in Pullman (Go Cougs!).

I love my mom, but I don't think it would surprise anyone to hear that I'm a Daddy's Girl. I can hang with the best of 'em talking baseball and dropping random stats (even erroneous ones like "70% of lead off walks score").

You've shown me how to work hard for what I want. You helped raise me to think for myself and focus on the present. You also taught me important life lessons, such as, how to properly place a needle on a vinyl record. And, a skill that certainly came in handy during college: how to shotgun a beer.

You taught me how to play ball. Not just the mechanics, but what the game really means. How to plan ahead for situations that might come up, and how to manage under pressure.

I remember the first time I was able to throw diagonally across the lawn. It arced...and I received a lesson on the shortest distance from A to B was a straight line. I think there were diagrams in the grass. But that's what I love about you. I speak logic, too. And I appreciate the lessons that I probably complained about in my youth. They're always here with me, and I have to smile when I catch myself passing them on to my students.

So, Dad, here we are on your 65th birthday. You once told me you wished you had drank more beer with your dad while he was still around. I don't think we will ever have that regret. Bottoms up, Chuck. (Haha, get it? Up Chuck?)

Love you always,

Your daughter

five seven five

Cold night, midnight sky

Angels shine in the bright glow

Stars already home

Angel Stadium of Anaheim, 2017

Spring Reset

A quick break from blogging and real life, and now back to reality. I was listening to Danny, Dave, and Moore talking to Mariner's GM Jerry Dipoto yesterday. He was discussing a young 1st baseman who has had a rough time keeping up with the major leaguers. The M's optioned him down to AAA to give him a chance to reset and come back to The Show stronger than before.

As Jerry talked, I thought about my own Spring Reset. February and March are historically difficult months. The kids at school (ok, us teachers too) go week after week without a break. On top of that, there's the joy of being single on Valentine's Day... This trip to Arizona each year has been my chance to get my mind right and ready to go strong through the end of the school year. 

Spring Training, 2017 did not disappoint. From the second we landed, Eleana and I made the most of our time. In 5 days, we packed in:

5 baseball games

A visit with my favorite athletic trainer (he's hiding behind the swarm of boys around E)

Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers at Talking Stick Resort

Several awesome (and 1 super awkward) selfies

Karaoke at Ernie's with the best KJ in the land

A night partying with Patrick Warburton and his posse

Singing the national anthem

A ton of autographs (including Mr. Mariner himself, Alvin Davis!)

A bucket of beer at the Salty Senorita

A thousand laughs

And then Eleana hopped in an Uber and headed home...and things got even more wild.  

Most of you know that I don't back down from a dare...especially if there's a free beer involved. So when the host of a Seattle radio show dared me to fuel the rivalry between him and another Seattle radio host, I was all over it.

That might be an alternative fact.

A big thank you to everyone who made this Spring Break the greatest one yet.

Best old friends, best new friends, baseball, and beer... MLB is back!

Cheers to the 2017 Seattle Mariners! Play ball!

Songs for the Soul

A Thousand Ways to Get There

A thousand ways to get there

Underneath that clear blue sky

A thousand ways to get there

On the road until we die

Keep moving on

Keep moving on

South Mountain Road, 2017

3 Shades of Blue

Walking toward the ocean

Strolling next to you

Hand in hand we stride the strand

Wave on wave of blue

Ventura Pier, 2017

Talking to Strangers

Spoiler Alert: I like talking to people.

There's something to be said about having friendly conversation over the Starbucks counter while the barista makes my Grande Americano in a Venti cup, extra ice, 2%, splenda (in case anyone would like to buy me coffee). Or chatting it up with the bartenders at my local watering hole while sipping on my pint (in case anyone would like to buy my drink).

Barrelhouse 101, 2017

Anyway, all this to say, I meet a lot of new people every week. I learn about them, they learn about me. Sometimes I make up extravagant stories, sometimes I tell the truth (also filled with extravagance). I assume they do the same.

Did I ever tell you about the time I faced a Clone Trooper?

These past couple weeks, I decided to throw my hat...um, heart?...no, HAT back into the ring. (Maybe less of a throw and more of a soft toss.) What I got back was a lot of laughter, a lot of hope, a few free drinks...and repeatedly asked, "How are you still single?"

It made me think.

I know, I know. How could anyone with this amazing shirt be single??

I've been pondering this for days...and came up with nothing. I feel like there are books out there meant to guide me in an answer (suggestions welcome!). For now, I think it means a little more meditative thought, some personal reflection, and maybe a filter on which strangers I converse with.

Lean Forward

Sometimes it's hard to get started. We've all been in our comfort zones before, content to stay where we are. But is this what makes us happy? (Truth be told, beer does make me pretty happy...)

T Phillips Alehouse, 2017

    

I remind myself that I have a great life: a fulfilling job, friends in several states, my family nearby. I'm content. But I want more.

Rumi on point. 

This week has been full of opportunities for being bold. I grasped them each time and met them with a smile. I made new friends, I laughed and cheered. I savored special moments with the people I love, and I tried to make new memories with moments I loved.

Grandma Lee and Grandpa Bob, 2017

I was reminded today that all I need to do to get started is lean forward. Let the momentum move you.

All That February Stuff

I've always liked Valentine's Day. The happy couples, the sharing of love, the conversation hearts... Seriously, I used to* make up stories with my box of hearts. (*"used to" refers to last year's box). Anyway, I was looking forward to the day of hearts this year. I bought cute new leggings, cards to send to my friends. I even made an adorable gift to send up to my favorite little dudes in Washington.

Then February 14th arrived. And my Facebook feed was plastered with happy couples and super sweet status updates. I would normally "ooh" and "ahh" and comment on all the love I saw, but this year I felt something different.

I was angry.

I wasn't angry at my friends for being in love. I was angry that I had wasted so much time pushing people away. I was angry that I had chased after men who I knew were not going to get married. I was angry that I let another person's immaturity and selfishness make me feel like I wasn't worthy of his love.

Because I am worth much more than his love. You get in return what you put out into the world, so perhaps being bold is about putting my heart out there where it's vulnerable.

Five Favorites

This week was pretty special. I was reminded of a few things that make me really happy. 

1. A sunny day walking around a city. I've done this many times in Seattle, just meandering around town. I also find myself exploring downtown Ventura on foot. There's something about the fresh air, sights and smells of stores and restaurants, and knowing I have no place else to be.

Downtown Ventura, 2017

2. Live music, especially when it's acoustic. I love being able to hear the harmonies and perfect imperfections of a live show. I watched Danielle Stacy and The Inside Break play in a tiny little room, filled with art and good people. Oh, and my $10 growler of Topa Topa IPA.

Danielle Stacy at The Artist's Brew, 2017

3. Listening to Congressional Medal of Honor recipients discuss life, war, families, school, and values. Equally impressive were their senses of humor and sound advice.

Congressional Medal of Honor recipients Srgt. Melvin Morris, Lt. Col. Charles Hagemeister, Col. Roger Donlon

4. Clouds. I've always loved watching the fog roll in. I remember long drives in fog so thick you could see it creep up over the hood of the car. I've sat and watched it roll in over the ocean or down a mountain side. I also love when you look up to that blue sky and see those high clouds in all their shapes and textures.

Long Canyon, 2017

Simi Valley, 2017

 5. Friendships. The kind that you see all week (my sister included) and still WANT to hang out with on the weekends.

#thismysquad, 2017

11 years of all this!

I've lived in Simi Valley, CA for 11 years now; I've done the Surf City Half-Marathon 11 times as well. It has become a tradition on Super Bowl Sunday!

Surf City Half-Marathon, 2017

During my 13.1 miles of ocean views and cool breezes, I was thinking about what other traditions have been created since moving down to CA. Lasagna for Christmas dinner. Arby's in Baker on the way to Vegas. Black Friday all-nighters. Mix tape party favors... I have loved making all kinds of memories here.

Surf City Half-Marathon, 2017

I've also loved the places I've been able to see here. Beaches up and down the coast (Huntington Beach Pier, pictured above), vacations, wine tasting, and of course, a visit to every Old Spaghetti Factory along the way.

To quote Sammy Sosa (sort of), "[California] been very good to me." 

I'm thankful for all the friends I've made and journeys we've been able to go on. I can't wait to see what the next adventure holds...I hope there's a medal at the end of it!

Surf City Half-Marathon, 2017

Seasons of Love

RENT was the first musical to enchant my heart. As a teenager, I listened to the Original Broadway Cast recording obsessively, eventually being able to sing the entire soundtrack cover to cover. I fell in love with the music, the story, the characters...lyrics that are deeply moving, harmonies that evoke emotion.

RENT at the Hollywood Pantages Theatre, 2017

This week, I was able to see the musical again at the Hollywood Pantages Theatre. It was beautiful. I listened with my heart this time, knowing the words before they were sung. It's amazing how some art can defy the limits of it's time. This is a story about love. Not a type of love, not a way to love...just love. And I think we could all use a little more of that right now.

"in daylights - in sunsets - in midnights - in cups of coffee

in inches - in miles - in laughter and strife

in five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

how do you measure a year in the life"

Jonathan Larson

My Big Adventure

I thought that you were my big adventure

But it turns out the adventure was mine

Though my heart was shattered

Pieces were scattered

I rebuilt it all in time

Sunrise, Wood Ranch Parkway

And I didn't know how strong I could be

You broke my heart

But you didn't break me

And I didn't know I could love you even more

For saying goodbye

For closing this door

Sunset, Challenger Park

I opened my eyes after the tears did subside

Oh, how the colors vibrantly shine

I hold my head up high

Face to the sky

For now the time is mine

Sunrise, Wood Ranch Golf Club

And I didn't know how strong I could be

You broke my heart

But you didn't break me

And I didn't know I could love you even more

For saying goodbye

For closing this door

Sunset, Long Canyon Trail

You said goodbye

I opened this door

95 Years Young!

My Grandpa Bob turned 95 this weekend! I met him when he was a mere 81 years old. I had flown down over spring break and went to meet the new step-family. Grandpa Bob sat in the living room talking about Cessna's, Piper's, and other airplane and flight stuff. I was enthralled.

Joseph, Daddy, Robert DuFresne, 1924

I got to learn a lot about Grandpa Bob's life in just one afternoon. Over the past 14 years, the stories have rolled in (most, lovingly told by Grandma Lee, sometimes more than once!). Some of the best are the tales of camping and water skiing on Lake Trinity, years working for Pacific Telephone, and his flying days.

Grandpa Bob and Grandma Lee singing together on Christmas Eve, 2016

After Pearl Harbor, Grandpa Bob (like many others) joined the US Navy. He was given the job of Forward Observer, where he was dropped at an island (sometimes alone), dug a foxhole, and watched the ship movements offshore.

Robert DuFresne, US Navy, 1942

My favorite story comes from Grandpa Bob's childhood days. His family relocated to Los Angeles from Marion, Ohio. They drove across the United States in a Model T Ford. Without a place to do laundry in Yellowstone National Park, Grandpa Bob's britches were cleansed in the power wash known as Old Faithful.

Robert and Joseph DuFresne, 1923

A lifetime full of love, Grandpa Bob shows us how to enjoy each day. Happy 95th!

Grandpa Bob holding the youngest great grandchild, 2016