Lean Forward

Sometimes it's hard to get started. We've all been in our comfort zones before, content to stay where we are. But is this what makes us happy? (Truth be told, beer does make me pretty happy...)

T Phillips Alehouse, 2017

    

I remind myself that I have a great life: a fulfilling job, friends in several states, my family nearby. I'm content. But I want more.

Rumi on point. 

This week has been full of opportunities for being bold. I grasped them each time and met them with a smile. I made new friends, I laughed and cheered. I savored special moments with the people I love, and I tried to make new memories with moments I loved.

Grandma Lee and Grandpa Bob, 2017

I was reminded today that all I need to do to get started is lean forward. Let the momentum move you.

All That February Stuff

I've always liked Valentine's Day. The happy couples, the sharing of love, the conversation hearts... Seriously, I used to* make up stories with my box of hearts. (*"used to" refers to last year's box). Anyway, I was looking forward to the day of hearts this year. I bought cute new leggings, cards to send to my friends. I even made an adorable gift to send up to my favorite little dudes in Washington.

Then February 14th arrived. And my Facebook feed was plastered with happy couples and super sweet status updates. I would normally "ooh" and "ahh" and comment on all the love I saw, but this year I felt something different.

I was angry.

I wasn't angry at my friends for being in love. I was angry that I had wasted so much time pushing people away. I was angry that I had chased after men who I knew were not going to get married. I was angry that I let another person's immaturity and selfishness make me feel like I wasn't worthy of his love.

Because I am worth much more than his love. You get in return what you put out into the world, so perhaps being bold is about putting my heart out there where it's vulnerable.

Five Favorites

This week was pretty special. I was reminded of a few things that make me really happy. 

1. A sunny day walking around a city. I've done this many times in Seattle, just meandering around town. I also find myself exploring downtown Ventura on foot. There's something about the fresh air, sights and smells of stores and restaurants, and knowing I have no place else to be.

Downtown Ventura, 2017

2. Live music, especially when it's acoustic. I love being able to hear the harmonies and perfect imperfections of a live show. I watched Danielle Stacy and The Inside Break play in a tiny little room, filled with art and good people. Oh, and my $10 growler of Topa Topa IPA.

Danielle Stacy at The Artist's Brew, 2017

3. Listening to Congressional Medal of Honor recipients discuss life, war, families, school, and values. Equally impressive were their senses of humor and sound advice.

Congressional Medal of Honor recipients Srgt. Melvin Morris, Lt. Col. Charles Hagemeister, Col. Roger Donlon

4. Clouds. I've always loved watching the fog roll in. I remember long drives in fog so thick you could see it creep up over the hood of the car. I've sat and watched it roll in over the ocean or down a mountain side. I also love when you look up to that blue sky and see those high clouds in all their shapes and textures.

Long Canyon, 2017

Simi Valley, 2017

 5. Friendships. The kind that you see all week (my sister included) and still WANT to hang out with on the weekends.

#thismysquad, 2017

11 years of all this!

I've lived in Simi Valley, CA for 11 years now; I've done the Surf City Half-Marathon 11 times as well. It has become a tradition on Super Bowl Sunday!

Surf City Half-Marathon, 2017

During my 13.1 miles of ocean views and cool breezes, I was thinking about what other traditions have been created since moving down to CA. Lasagna for Christmas dinner. Arby's in Baker on the way to Vegas. Black Friday all-nighters. Mix tape party favors... I have loved making all kinds of memories here.

Surf City Half-Marathon, 2017

I've also loved the places I've been able to see here. Beaches up and down the coast (Huntington Beach Pier, pictured above), vacations, wine tasting, and of course, a visit to every Old Spaghetti Factory along the way.

To quote Sammy Sosa (sort of), "[California] been very good to me." 

I'm thankful for all the friends I've made and journeys we've been able to go on. I can't wait to see what the next adventure holds...I hope there's a medal at the end of it!

Surf City Half-Marathon, 2017

Seasons of Love

RENT was the first musical to enchant my heart. As a teenager, I listened to the Original Broadway Cast recording obsessively, eventually being able to sing the entire soundtrack cover to cover. I fell in love with the music, the story, the characters...lyrics that are deeply moving, harmonies that evoke emotion.

RENT at the Hollywood Pantages Theatre, 2017

This week, I was able to see the musical again at the Hollywood Pantages Theatre. It was beautiful. I listened with my heart this time, knowing the words before they were sung. It's amazing how some art can defy the limits of it's time. This is a story about love. Not a type of love, not a way to love...just love. And I think we could all use a little more of that right now.

"in daylights - in sunsets - in midnights - in cups of coffee

in inches - in miles - in laughter and strife

in five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

how do you measure a year in the life"

Jonathan Larson

My Big Adventure

I thought that you were my big adventure

But it turns out the adventure was mine

Though my heart was shattered

Pieces were scattered

I rebuilt it all in time

Sunrise, Wood Ranch Parkway

And I didn't know how strong I could be

You broke my heart

But you didn't break me

And I didn't know I could love you even more

For saying goodbye

For closing this door

Sunset, Challenger Park

I opened my eyes after the tears did subside

Oh, how the colors vibrantly shine

I hold my head up high

Face to the sky

For now the time is mine

Sunrise, Wood Ranch Golf Club

And I didn't know how strong I could be

You broke my heart

But you didn't break me

And I didn't know I could love you even more

For saying goodbye

For closing this door

Sunset, Long Canyon Trail

You said goodbye

I opened this door

95 Years Young!

My Grandpa Bob turned 95 this weekend! I met him when he was a mere 81 years old. I had flown down over spring break and went to meet the new step-family. Grandpa Bob sat in the living room talking about Cessna's, Piper's, and other airplane and flight stuff. I was enthralled.

Joseph, Daddy, Robert DuFresne, 1924

I got to learn a lot about Grandpa Bob's life in just one afternoon. Over the past 14 years, the stories have rolled in (most, lovingly told by Grandma Lee, sometimes more than once!). Some of the best are the tales of camping and water skiing on Lake Trinity, years working for Pacific Telephone, and his flying days.

Grandpa Bob and Grandma Lee singing together on Christmas Eve, 2016

After Pearl Harbor, Grandpa Bob (like many others) joined the US Navy. He was given the job of Forward Observer, where he was dropped at an island (sometimes alone), dug a foxhole, and watched the ship movements offshore.

Robert DuFresne, US Navy, 1942

My favorite story comes from Grandpa Bob's childhood days. His family relocated to Los Angeles from Marion, Ohio. They drove across the United States in a Model T Ford. Without a place to do laundry in Yellowstone National Park, Grandpa Bob's britches were cleansed in the power wash known as Old Faithful.

Robert and Joseph DuFresne, 1923

A lifetime full of love, Grandpa Bob shows us how to enjoy each day. Happy 95th!

Grandpa Bob holding the youngest great grandchild, 2016